When I was a little kid, I heard my aunt say to my mother that I have an olive complexion. The only olive I had ever seen was green. I looked at myself in the mirror and asked myself if I was really green. I did not know that what it really meant was that I had a tanned complexion. For years and years the thought came to me that when people looked at me I looked green to them. I worked that into my fear of being around people. My aunt was not trying to put me down. I took her words apart from the spirit in which she was speaking based on my incomplete knowledge. I put that into my little brain computer and came up with the wrong thing.
There are things you have heard that people have said about you. It does not make it true just because someone said something or tried to tell you that you could not do this or that. If you have a sincere desire, if you really want to determine what you want to achieve, make a decision and choose to focus on a positive outcome. The meaning your brain gives to the situation, whether it is pain or pleasure, whatever meaning your brain gives to the experience, will make it your reality.